At the start of this weekend’s travel, I thought we were going to end up spending the weekend in London as a result of some rather poor planning. We had decided to buy our bus tickets to Ireland right before the coach was scheduled to leave. Unfortunately, we found out that this was impossible when we arrived at the station. We ended up booking a train instead after an hour and a half of searching for transportation. I slept for the entire train ride and then drooled all over the seat cushion of our Irish Ferries ship.
        In Dublin, we visited a castle and two of the local breweries, Jameson’s and Guinness. The Guinness tour cost about ten American dollars, which I felt was rather expensive; therefore, I was compelled to equalize the expense by employing an old trick which was inspired after watching the elderly at Old Country Buffet with their little plastic baggies. I stole the really nice Guinness glass that they had given me my free beer in.
        We returned to our hostel room later that night after visiting some pubs and found one of our Australian roommates drunk as hell. For some reason, she had been drinking red WINE in Dublin, Ireland, and now her 300 pound fat ass was bent over the porcelin as she puked her brains out. Our room stunk like you wouldn’t believe, but I was laughing my ass off the whole time: For some reason, it was funny to hear her belch for 5 seconds at a time. After puking for a bit, she decided to take a shower. After the water turned off, forty more seconds elapsed, during which time she was drying herself. Suddenly, I heard a little squeek similar to that of wet shoes on a linoleum floor followed by a crashing sound and then a loud thump as her head hit the sink. I then heard a low grumble that sounded something like “I’m okay.” At this point, I was the only person in the room still awake, and I laughed so hard for the next half hour that sleep was simply impossible.
        On the second day, we left Dublin and went to the small town of Howth for an unguided, four hour cliff hike. The view was great, and about halfway through the hike, we saw an an empty cave that was only visible because it was low tide. As the tide was coming in, we climbed down and entered the cave where we began to explore and look for cool stuff that had managed to wash up. As the water got higher and higher, the situation I was in began reminding more and more of the Baywatch episodes which I had seen. When I realized that instead of Pamela Anderson coming to save me, it was probably going to be some drunk Irish guy, I left the cave and climbed back up the cliff. We returned to Dublin, made the 9 hour trip home, and went straight to work, where I was very happy to see the lovely ladies with whom I am very happy to work.

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